Nerd Pride Radio

Seems like the smart choice! Good luck and stay safe.

I am dumb and can't discuss it, alas, but I'm getting to be so dumb and incompetent lately that I wonder if I have brain problems (usually the brain problems that run in the family are muscle-related and not mental-decline related, but who knows, it could manifest that way), or brain tumor, Alzheimers, bad side effects from otherwise apparently harmless medicine, or maybe my old model perished and after surgery I woke up as a new robot, or maybe just one night in sleep we got off on to this alternate universe where Trump is president and all these other things are going wrong... I don't know. I just know that I don't want to have to live as a dumbass, yet that appears to be the current situation. I feel like my main value in this human life comes from some form of competency and cleverness, and if I start to lack those things I'm not really sure what is worthwhile about the whole person. Like really what is there, if I become stupid?

I just noticed, on the package of ground beef that is going to turn into tonight's dinner, the phrase "No Added Growth Hormone" and I wondered: Was there a lawsuit that required them to include the word "Added" on the label? Did they originally label it as Antibiotic-free/Growth Hormone Free" and somebody was pissy enough to point out that the cows DID grow?

The level of detail in the lawsuits about this type of labeling is astonishing! However, I take the unpopular view that plant products aren't meat and should not be labeled as such. There was a time when this would have been the pro-vegetarian, pro-environmentalist view, but for some reason those people switched sides when they discovered that the meat industry liked owning the meat names. You would think that if you didn't want to eat any meat, it would be better to make sure that non-meat products were not labeled as meat!

Redacted!

[edit: tl;dr I'm frustrated.

Tl:Dr I'm still fucking frustrated.

Today I had to 'request payment' for unemployment even though my claim is still pending. This is, apparently normal procedure. However it's going to be a moot point, because:

If you make more than your calculated benefit amount in a given week, you are not eligible for unemployment that week. This work can come from any source, including any jobs worked AND SELF EMPLOYMENT.

So, I can't file for the self-employment part of PUA, because I make a miniscule amount in W2 income, but enough to be the minimum to apply for unemployment. And I can't file for regular unemployment because I am making a fraction of my usual self-employment income, but it is more than what I get from the base benefit (not including the extra from the CARES act as far as I can tell.) so I am not eligible. The hope I have still is to be turned down by regular unemployment so I can try again with PUA.

And I learned TODAY by complete fucking luck that self-employed people can apply for the PPP. Which is different than the emergency relief whatever. But because I filed for unemployment first, I cannot also file for the PPP. So I have to wait to find out if I'm rejected and then hopefully have enough time to pick one.

Fun fact: I can no longer send messages to specific friends on Facebook because one of the people to whom I had edited the thing to send specific messages decided to block me, it turns out to my joy and surprise, so obviously I can't send anything to that person, nor can I edit that name out of the list. This means I can't send it to anyone else on the list either, or change anything so that I can! So thanks, dear friend, what the f*** I ever could possibly have done to you I have no idea, but I hope you feel better now, knowing that in some small way you have caused me an annoyance that I can't solve. Pushing half a century and none of this s*** ever changes from when we were in grade school. I just don't ever do things like this to people, I don't know what to say.

I was approved for 'traditional' unemployment. This is actually the worst possible outcome. I'm going to be calling tomorrow and sitting on hold for as long as it takes to talk to a real person.

I say worst because it does not take into account lost self-employment income, but DOES require me to report any made self employment income. So my weekly teaching is enough to make me ineligible for the benefit (which is calculated at 5% of my total income, not 55% like a traditional wage earner) But because I was approved I cannot be eligible for the PUA. So I'm either not going to get any assistance at all. Or I will have to find other avenues, but most of those I didn't know were available to me until yesterday, and most of their funding is gone. But I also can't apply for them until I am no longer eligible for traditional unemployment.

I'm in limbo. And that's the worst part.

I'm so sorry, this is ridiculous! There should just be a menu of options based on everything that has been approved, and people should send in one application, and be routed towards the program that is appropriate for their type of employment! Ugh.

Wish I had answers for this but it is a baffling maze.

Unless I can get them to change the law of the CARES Act and some CO law, I am not going to be eligible for any assistance for my loss of Schedule C work as I will be unable to exhaust my benefits from my W2 work because of my Schedule C work. I'm thinking about what to do next.

I'm so sorry, it's just ridiculous how difficult they are making it for the people who need support to get that support. And it's our money god dammit, it's our money that isn't going to people like you who need it, but pretty much anything else it seems.

Had to renew my drivers license and get a RealID license. The guy at the DMV would not accept my copy of my Social Security card that I brought. He would accept my passport, which was obtained using that exact same copy of the Social Security card that he would not accept, but he would not accept the card. Apparently, at the time it was issued, they would send the card attached to an identically-shaped and almost-identically-formatted stub that also listed your name and full SSN, and what I had was the stub, but what he wanted was the card that was no longer attached to that stub. So instead, I had to run back home and grab the copy of my W2 form from my tax returns, which were just a printout of the PDF document that my accountant puts together every year when he does our business and personal income taxes.

So just so we're clear, he would not accept the original, government-issued stub of my Social Security card that had my full name and SSN on it, but he would accept a print out of a PDF document that just about anyone could put together on their computer and print out.

End result is the same: I'll be getting my RealID-compliant drivers license in 5-7 days, and hopefully will not have to go through this hassle again for quite some time.

Not much sleep + my normal adolescent bullshit = bad morning

You could decide to make tacos. It may not solve everything but it solves some things.

I thought I was doing okay. But I'm not sure I am. Again, financially, adequately fine. But the system I'm dealing with has screwed me so much that I'm actually thinking about what I can get away with. Like last week I was sick, so I didn't teach as much. Which means I'm able to actually qualify for an unemployment payment for a single week. But I'm worried they're going to call and make we explain why I suddenly didn't work as much, especially because I wasn't fired from a job or anything. Oh and the church I work for had been giving me payments for the last few weeks without my knowledge. So I didn't list it, because I didn't work any hours. Do they report to Unemployment? I don't think so. But what if they do? Did I just commit fraud for not disclosing this thing I didn't work for and doesn't count as severance, holiday pay or sick leave because I don't get any of those things. This system is broken, and it seems like it was designed to be broken.

So now I'm getting angry at things that I shouldn't be getting angry at, like having a can of tuna spray its water all over me when I'm trying to drain it, or having the sodastream spray carbonated water all over the place because I guess I did it wrong.

And now I just keep writing things and deleting them, so I stop.