Bad Feminist

[Phoebe]

Bad feminist, bad political positions among your Democrat associates: I totally disagree that women should be subject to the Selective Service draft, which makes me allied with the Republicans who want to make sure that doesn't happen. The argument that all women should be subject to the draft just because a very small percentage of women occupy combat positions in the military does not add up. It is literally a textbook example of a fallacy of composition. Fairness that requires people who have the same capacities and skills and interest should have access to the same jobs without sexism absolutely does not entail that people who lack the same capacities and skills and interests should nevertheless be pressed into service. If we had a national service requirement that offered a variety of different kinds of jobs that were not all strictly military oriented, then it would make sense to have universal conscription of both sexes. Until that point, absolutely no way.

We are also living in a world where sexism is absolutely rampant on many different policy levels. There are states that force women to be literally raped by an object inserted into the body for a prenatal ultrasound if they are seeking an abortion. Women cannot get ready access to birth control or other basic health care needs, because for some reason sexual dysfunction drugs are recognized as solving healthcare issues but birth control mysteriously fails to be a medical need. Women are still paying taxes on the supplies they use for menstruation. The division of domestic labor in this country is radically unequal even after long-term efforts to make a shift. Yet you're going to tell me that in this one area we need to have perfect equality suddenly? No.

[Phoebe]

More bad feminist feelings: the proliferation of articles designed to tell you (and the you is female, as indicated by use of words like "Mommy"), how to handle the upcoming advent of school and the separation anxiety young children may feel. No in fact, unless you have experience treating anxiety disorders, which as a Kindergarten / preschool teacher you are very unlikely to have, you may not know as well as I do how to deal with my own children's separation anxiety. People in this role will often tell you that they know exactly how to solve it if only the parents would do XYZ the way that they're supposed to, and then all the times I've visited schools in the middle of the day to find children still crying and screaming due to separation anxiety belies the point. Blaming parents for it is not really the answer.

[Phoebe]

Beyonce is a good singer whose music I enjoy. I will not "bow down" to her either metaphorically or literally in this or any other lifetime, and what is all that nonsense even about? She is not the Immaculate Conception, people.

[Phoebe]

I have no problem with what Jimmy Kimmel was doing, and I'm not sure why people are trying to publicly shame him for something that we already know was part of his television career! How is this getting tied to Harvey Weinstein?! Were these women working for Kimmel or trying to apply for a job? Did he coerce or force himself upon them? What am I missing here? Forced kissing and pussy grabbing = okay in our moral universe, but somehow consensual foolishness is wicked?

[mimekiller]

Forgive me but what are people saying about Jimmy?

[Mike]

[Mike]

There's exceptions to this rule on both sides of course, but in general...

[mimekiller]

I agree with this

http://theweek.com/articles/729977/demo ... in-problem

[Bonefish]

There are very fine people, very fine people, on both sides here!

[Phoebe]

Yeah, I think that article is basically BS. When we start hearing apologies from Republicans for taking money that came out of private military contractors who summarily executed civilians, then we can start chatting about the moral equivalence of accepting donations from Hollywood. Political money is all blood money on some level. Where is the political entity free from any type of problem like this? Apparently it's too morally challenging for some people to decide that sexual harassment is a problem or that sexual assault is a problem without making sure we tag Democrats with it when one of their donors is the perpetrator. I can't stand Bill Clinton because I think he's a sexual harasser. So I really don't care to hear from anyone who tries to make this about Republicans and Democrats - what a crock of s***.

[Phoebe]

I might add that the deafening chorus of "go away Hillary" dies down just long enough to b**** about situations like this one. Well which is it? Do you want her to comment or do you want her to shut up and not be heard from again? Like I say, you let me know whenever Republican start making a list of all the moral crimes committed by their donors. All of us will be gone long before that happens.

[Tahlvin]

There's a part to this whole Weinstein thing, where it seems anyone who was ever in a photo with him or worked with him on any project whatsoever, is expected to immediately come out and condemn the man as evil personified, and any delay in doing so is seen as supporting the man's behavior. That just seems odd to me. And this certainly isn't the first time we've seen this sort of thing. Certainly, there may have been some people that knew what he was doing and were helping cover it up, and plenty of people seem to have heard rumors. But anyone who ever had contact with the man having to answer for his behavior is ridiculous. I don't care if it's Hillary or Matt Damon or whoever. Unless there's real evidence that a particular person actively covered for the man, and not just in a "I kept quiet because I was afraid for my livelihood" way, then they shouldn't really have to say a thing publicly about the man.

[Phoebe]

Totally agree and that's why this is the Bad Feminist thread. One of the things that makes sexual predators specially bad, when they're not being obvious about their bad behavior, is that they're sneaky and good at coercing people to go along. Sometimes they're even self-proclaimed feminists. Sometimes they have lots of vocal defenders who don't know what's up. There are cases where the stuff goes on for years and nobody knows.

[Phoebe]

First Jimmy Kimmel, now Jason Momoa. Sorry, guys, I don't know if Jason Momoa is good or bad. All I have to go on are his comments, and his comments aren't bad. Sorry. He plays a rapist on TV, and that's not his fault. Frankly I'm glad he's crystal clear on that fact, because moral clarity is good. Go ask the world why the sick dude who wrote Game of Thrones wrote a non-stop rape and incest drama, and then go ask all the people who watch it why they enjoy this entertainment. I can't answer those riddles. But neither should Jason Momoa need to answer them. Did he make up this story? No.

[mimekiller]

Buhhh I'm a feminist but I don't think women are strong enough to answer for their public ties to a fucking sexual predator

[Phoebe]

Yeah, that's a lousy argument. Who's saying that now? I can't keep up.

Of course, some people are mad that Hillary stayed with Bill, so... Not sure how they feel about Trump.

I find it grimly amusing that people who normally don't care one toot about assault survivors care very much about the political optics of the thing, like they wrote the rulebook on when you must disavow and who must do the disavowing while others get a pass. It's all so very amusing.

[mimekiller]

I talk a lot on twitter and sometimes I might voice something that is not directly said here but just a overall sentiment I feel exists in the ether.

[Phoebe]

I hear you; for my own part, I usually can't repeat where I've heard the fancy ideas I'd like to criticize, so sometimes people think I'm making it up but sadly that's not so. I wish. I know lots of people who have behaved badly; some have even given me money, directly or indirectly. Nobody gave me the handbook on when to disavow or give back the money. I like to eat as much as anyone. But I wouldn't work for the mafia. Somewhere in between there is justice and integrity. I don't know where but I know that I worry about it a lot. Down here where we sift sand to find that Justice line, it's often lonely. Suddenly a crowd of total strangers to the region shows up because they're mad about Hillary, you know?

[Phoebe]

The big Women's March we saw last spring after Trump's election... They're having a convention. Their very first one. They picked out a top Feminist leader to be the keynote speaker and inspire women across the country in the face of the current challenges:
Bernie Sanders.



When pressed about this dumb choice, leadership protested, but we invited Maxine Waters too, for some lesser time slot!

Now, I'm all for men being feminists and taking leadership roles in a gender equity movement, and speechifying and whatnot. But this? Nah. Wrong. Dumb.

[Iantha]